“January 2017 Final Thought”

Today, Thursday January 26th, 2017 is my final blog post for the month of January.  A lot of things happened this month already-things I’ll really remember for a long time.  Some things I’ll cherish and some I’ll hate remembering in the future when I tell my great grand kids of “MY OLD DAYS”.

My son turned 5 this year 🙂  This I’ll cherish for the rest of my life.  It’s only until now that he is able to recognize that, from now on, every January is the month that he will become one year older ❤  He will wait for it to arrive every year to come so that he can ask me to measure how tall he is and see if he is coming close to be as tall as I am.  He will definitely be taller than me for sure hahaha  So far, the men born in my family have been born to be very tall.  I am hopeful that he will just stay healthy.  We also went to enroll for Kindergarten.  Yaaaay.  He is currently still learning to use the toilet for number 2 however, because for some reason or another, he's scared of sitting on it.  I sure hope I can do what I can to appease his fear so he can be ready for school this coming September.

The day when we went to enroll, Aaron seemed to have a good time looking around and seeing other children having fun during recess.  Oh my, I'm starting to remember flashbacks of my recess days 🙂  I think that the one things I dislike about enrolling for school, is that certain locations of a students living address is within the district of another school, even though there is a school just up the hill or 3 blocks away.  I had to do extra paperwork in addition to what I already did in order to request for a district transfer to the school that was nearby us.  If I am ever going to be working Full Time, my parents may be my only help in taking him to school and bringing him back home.  Let's hope this will be clear sailing for us.  I am hopeful 🙂

It's very important to me that he goes to a school that celebrates multicultural nationalities.  I grew up in that kind of environment, and because of that I grew up to absolutely love and cherish all of my friends who are from every ethnic background.  I want my son to appreciate the diversity and beauty of people from all around the world.  I hope that by the time he is in 4th grade, the country's situation in politics and laws will be different and that everyone can learn to love and care for each other.  I also hope that bullying will be a thing of the past too because in this modern age, bullying seems to have gotten so much more harsh and easier to get away with.  The victims are left feeling like there is no way out, and schools or teachers are just not doing enough to help.  I would never wish my bullying situation for even my worst enemies.  I can still remember coming home with fresh bruises everyday in my second grade in elementary.

Aaron does not know how to socialize as much as other kids because he has lived pretty much as an only child.  I'm afraid I have been a little bit too protective and may have instilled some fear of socializing within him.  I don't regret it though, because he knows not to hug or kiss or get too close to someone whom he doesn't intimately know-although he has trouble warming up to a few of my aunts and uncles whom he is suppose to call grandma and grandma…Oops.  Hopefully this is also another thing that Aaron will grow out of by the time school starts.

What also happened this month was my paternal grandmothers hospitalization.  She is currently 83 years old and counting.  I had to call an ambulance for her because of dehydration due to her diarrhea and vomiting caused my gastroenteritis.  It didn't appear to be food poisoning because we all ate the same foods at home.  However, when grandma was at her dialysis treatment the previous day, she was served a small cup of protein drink.  I recall her drinking the same thing the last time I went with her to dialysis treatment when my dad was under the weather and was unable to go with her.  I hope no one else got sick from that. We're still caught in the middle of flu season after all.  I work in the Medical Field as a Medical Assistant, so I know just how dangerous a cough can become if the right health precautions aren't followed. Grandma ended up hospitalized for 4 days and she did lose some weight during the ordeal.  It's been a week since she was discharged to come home so we are being very careful with her, even more than before because she seems to have become even more frail since.

My great grandmother passed away when I was in the third grade.  I remembered that I spent the night at my cousins house and then going home the next day I didn't see my great grandmother in her usual spot, or in bed.  I thought that she went to stay at her other son's house (who I call grandpa).  My mom had set up a little tray of incense, candles and offerings in the area where he bed use to sit.  I asked my mom where my great grandma was, and she said that she had passed away and gone to somewhere that I'll never see her again.  I didn't understand what it meant to lose someone and I didn't know if my mom was lying to me to punish me for wanting to spend the night at my cousins.  A couple of days later, I saw my grandmother again during the funeral service.  I remembered saying to my mom and pointing to where my great grandmother laid, "Mom, there she is!"  My mom shook her head and said that she was going to be asleep forever, and won't wake up again.  I didn't understand what was going to happen next.  We ended gathering together and watched as the "bed" she was sleeping in was being pushed to a place that was shooting up flames.  When I saw it, I immediately felt scared that they were going to hurt her if they get her any closer. I twisted the hem of my moms shirt and tugged at it and said, "Mom! fire!  Don't put her in there!"  I might have started running toward her to try to stop them, but I don't remember much else after that, only that there was a gasp in my throat and gripping feeling in my tummy that made me feel so sick.  I loved my great grandmother more than I ever realized.  And I missed her so much every single day that she was gone from our lives.

My appreciation for life, stems from a long history of naivity. I was too young to recognize how precious life was or to know that some moments, some faces and some feelings should be cherished. Now, as an adult with a greater understanding of mourning for a loved one, I have trouble coming to grips with what will happen.  I fear, losing any member of my family.  I am absolutely over-protective of all their safety and well-being.  I am afraid that the same long gasp in my throat and heavy gripping feeling in my stomach will return. We are mortals after all. And life is fleeting.

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