Recently since starting to write my Morning Pages, I’ve realized that I have been reborned-not literally. I lived in California for over 20 years and my accent, habits, personality and hobbies were all molded into me during that time. When we moved to Seattle in winter of 2006, I had to start all over again from the ground up. Although I had been in college over 2 years, and was considered an adult, seeing myself back then I realized just how immature I was in mind. I was not prepared for the future that was about to overcome me and my family.
For example, I had no work experience in Seattle even though I worked in 3 different places in California. I hated staffing agents since that time because it was through the work staffing that I started working at an electronic assembling company. I was the new girl and had no idea what sort of work was like because I had no experience in electronics, though my main job was mainly to assemble electronic components and ready them for assembling. The Lead employee there had given me suspicious glances and I already knew there was something about her that made me shift away from her. Even my fellow friendly co-workers too. During the time I worked there, I was always greeted by friendly co-workers and others from a separate department and being my polite and friendly self, I always said ‘hi‘ back to them. Short conversations were started and friendships were built. But, MaryAnne, the Lead saw things differently. She reported to our Supervisor, who is only around for 1 hour in the mornings before I am off work-My schedule starts at 10:00 PM and ends at 7:30 AM. During this whole time, the supervisor is not even there. In fact, she starts work at 7:00 AM, a full 30 minutes before I am off. To cut the story short, I was fired because MaryAnne reported to the supervisor that I was too distracted at work– I was shocked and stunned that such a thing could happen, ESPECIALLY since the supervisor wasn’t there through the whole night to see my work performance. I know better than to get distracted by wasteful conversations. And she had the nerve to say that I was flirting or was enabling flirting with my male co-workers. Which made me absolutely disgusted that she would lie and made my character out to be some sort of promiscuous girl. In my mind, I was thinking, “Am I suppose to shake my head and turn around when someone says “good morning” to me or ask me how my day was?” Just the most ridiculous bullshit I had ever heard of. And this was why I was being fired??? Thinking about it now, I could have filed a suit against that company, but as it’s been over 8 years since the incident, I am well over the fact. I have more battles to fight and have no time to even think about this company’s unfair treatment of me. They weren’t the only company to treat me unfairly of course. There are just so many companies out there that treat their employees like shit and get away with it. I wish this wasn’t the case, but it is. And unfortunately, some employees are not willing to raise their voice to protest against it, because they’re too scared of being fired. Our new home was foreclosed nearly a year of living there. I knew that it was partly my fault because I was not helping to bring in the income to help pay our mortgage.
A year or so later, I started school for Medical Assisting and graduated within the year. After getting my diploma, I did per diem jobs for about 3 months until I started working at a certain clinic for over 3 years. I later moved on to work at another bigger clinic for about 2 years after that. I later decided that the new clinic I was at was just too difficult to get to, what with the working hours and the 1.5 hr commute. I decided to go back to that company that I started off working with. There, I was met with so many changes-not just with supervisor and management, but also with the employee’s, my co-workers. One co-worker, whom I considered to be my best friend at work, whom I personally trained, pushed to aim for a promotion and encouraged, was now the Lead. I was initially happy for her because I did recommended that she would be a good fit-at the time, I was a nominee for the Lead position but I opted out because I had decided to work elsewhere within the next month.
Upon returning, I was met with old friends telling me how much negativity there was and how the supervisor was biased in which employee was being treated better than the others. I don’t blame them for feeling that way, because the first month I worked there, the Lead and Supervisor were bringing their knitting needles and yarns to work and talking and knitting during company time. Honestly, I understand if they wanted to make the working atmosphere or environment to be friendly or down to earth, but from a professional standpoint, you would think it’s important to keep employees actively working-especially since this was a medical clinic. It also doesn’t help that certain employee’s spoke too loudly and shouted across the Nurse stations information regarding patients-I think I was fed up the day I was asked to come in to work-on a day that I was off-I agreed to come in because I thought I could use the hours. Unfortunately, I would be about 30 minutes late due to the last minute notice for me to come in and the prep time I had. I even told the Supervisor, who asked me to come in and she was fine with it as long as I would be there. As I walked in to work, coming past the Nurse Station the Lead, looks up and says “why are you so late?” Just loud enough for everyone else to hear, making it seem as though I was a bad employee. I said back to her, “I wasn’t suppose to be at work today, but I was asked to come in at 11:00. I told the Supervisor that I couldn’t make it in until 11:30 because of the short notice.” In my mind I was thinking, “Why don’t you talk to the Supervisor? I didn’t have to be here today but she called me last minute and I told HER what time I would be coming in.” but I couldn’t say it out loud because I didn’t want to embarrass her.
Biting my tongue is one of the hardest thing I’ve learned to do and I think it’s the main reason why I liked working on my own. During the time I returned work, I was given the usual 90 days evaluation. Unfortunately, the Supervisor kept pushing back the review, saying that she wanted to see me improve-I had 5 years of Medical Assistant experience. I helped to train the few senior staff that was there-that company has so much turn-overs. I come into work professionally and behave as professional as I can. Just because I am not always knitting, talking about which alcoholic beverage to buy for the weekend drinking party, or have lunch with you, doesn’t make me a bad employee. She pushed back the review a second time and that was when I realized, she was just using my presence there to keep a full staff until she found someone else who would fit their “crew”. I found out a little too late because I was later laid off but was told that I can reapply after a month. I’m blessed to know, that I don’t need to be in an association or “crew” to feel happy. I didn’t reapply. This is the company, where I only spent 1 month of Maternity Leave before returning to work Full Time. Where I blacked-out from pain due to the stress and difficult shortage of staff and also, due to patience who check-in late and still want to be seen. So when the doctor tells them they can be seen if they are willing to wait, it means I have to work like I am 2 different people. I am hurrying to check-in a patient and then to give another patient their shots, and then find a room for that late patient while in between getting parent signatures for shots. I started to experience chess pains and difficulty breathing. After a week of these symptoms, and me putting up with it, I passed-out from the pain when I consulted another doctor about it. I was just not taking enough care of myself because I was being to stressed from work.
I wasted my hardworking efforts at this company. I was a new mom and I wished that I could be with my son everyday when I am at work getting mean glares from patients and doctors who literally threw papers at my face. (This happened at the same clinic). I am done working for companies like that and with Leads or Supervisors like those. Let me be honest about that.
Let me now focus of expanding my horizon and gaining a better way of life through continued education and always strive to make a better life for myself and my family.